Trials

I write this with a very heavy heart so please forgive me if this leaves you feeling weighed down too…

My prayer… Dear God, please use this opportunity to bring all of us closer to you… Shower us with peace and grace. Help me trust you and the plans you have for me. I feel you working and I am desperately trying not to worry and to leave everything in your hands. I cannot see the whole picture, and there are so many things I do not have answers for. I will trust you to lead all of us, and trust in your plans.

We were never promised that this life would be easy.  

Life. Is. Hard.

We live in a broken word, full of broken people. So I imagine every one of you who reads this has been to the place where you wish you could leave. Where you are filled with agony, ache with sadness, desperation, and all you want is make it stop.

Right now I would like to thank you for reconsidering. It is my hope that you had a long talk with God, and let him intervene in your life.

Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous hand

Isaiah 41:10

It truly breaks my heart to know people are hurting. Hurting so deeply it blocks out any light, takes away all hope.

I think we all face these moments, maybe more than once. I can admit there have been many occasions I’ve been ready to give up and wish I could go home. I’ve even been to the point I don’t care about “home” and just want to be done. It usually doesn’t take long for me to reconsider. Now I only have to think of my children and know that I can’t leave. Oh but if I didn’t have kids… I think of my family, my friends. I think of the job God has for me here. Being the person I am I could not leave that unfinished.

 I know I have a calling to do big things. I think that part of getting there has been going through some tough times.

I think you are defined by how you handle those tough situations. &&There will be many trials… How are YOU going to handle them? Will you stand up and face them, or crumble? Will you call upon God? Or turn your back to him? Will you fight? Or will you give up?

I choose to face it, always fighting. With even more strength now that I allow God to work through me.  I will also always have HOPE. Sometimes I might have to dig down deep to find it, but it’s always there.

This renewed faith has given me a whole new outlook… Normally I would have turned inward looking for strength, tried solving things myself. Today I immediately turned to God; put all of this worry, heartache, uncertainty, stress… in his hands! That is not easy for me so I am still feeling slightly nauseous. The little voice in my ear is telling me to panic and put my hands back on the wheel.

I don’t know what is to come… I am doing my best to exercise faith.